


Ohne Dich

by sweetkidd



Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, One-sided pining, PTSD, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:24:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetkidd/pseuds/sweetkidd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A slow-burn fic about two Rainbow Operators. Estrada didn't think he'd one day be side by side with the man he'd soon call more than a friend. Elias hadn't considered a relationship since his Policing days, not especially since he'd started revisiting his past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let Me Help

If there’s one thing that was always expected at Hereford, it was rain, and if there was one thing that Jack was none too happy to see was heavy rain clouds. Of course they could always train inside, do their laps outside, they’d be soaked to the bone and hopefully wouldn’t catch a fever when they finished.Thatch was always one for brewing a pot of hot tea for everyone after a chilly day though, but it didn’t make Jack anymore happy about the weather. Montagne, or Gilles, Jack was still learning names, called off the run and instead invited all of the operators to enjoy their day off and make good use of it. To be completely honest though, Jack wasn’t one for taking days off, but a recent shoulder injury put him out of training at the range.

Doc had taken a look at his shoulder and come to the conclusion that he had a pinched nerve in his neck, pulled a shoulder and collar muscle and bruising was already beginning to set in. A treatment was already in place for him, seeing some chiropractor to help ease his pain, but for now Jack would be taking some high dose ibuprofen.

His lips formed a tight line as he walked back to the dormitories, the sound of thunder echoing behind him. No doubt today would be spent inside and most likely doing nothing. He kicked the mud off his boots before tossing them haphazardly next to the door to the recreational room. The rec room was filled with couches, a small dining table, a television and even a pool table. Of course there was a microwave, two electric kettles, as if you needed more than one, and a small toaster oven for whatever microwave burritos people snuck in.  
  
“Least you could do is take them to your own room.” Jack turned to face Miles, their eyes locked. Jack clicked his tongue before leaving his shoes where they had been tossed. He dragged his feet down the hallway towards the dorms, like some spoiled child, but of course before he could even get into his own room, a voice called to him from the end of the hall.  
  
“Herr Estrada!” Jack sighed heavily before turning his head and seeing Elias wearing a bright smile and already out of his training fatigues. Elias motioned for Jack to come down the hall and for a moment Jack debated whether or not he even wanted to engage with the German, but shrugged it off mentally and walked towards Elias’ room. He figured that the rest of the GSG9 would be piled into the room, but was surprised when he was greeted by no one in particular.  
  
“Something you need Elias?” He wasn’t about to take a seat, no, this would be in and out and then he’d get to go pout in his own room about the rainy day and his fucked up shoulder.

“I was actually wondering if you needed anything. You injured your shoulder in the recent training simulation.” The smile on the German’s face only made Jack more anxious.

“Yeah, but it’s fine. Just let the Doc do his work and I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m not even on your team Elias. What have you got to be worried about?”

“We all look out for each other here. But either way, I have something that will work for you. A rub that I use after extensive exercise.” Elias reached into the bedside table and pulled out a bottle of oil with a wrapper that Jack couldn’t read. Jack just shook his head.  
  
“Elias, this isn’t really necessary, I’m fine. Wait, what are you doing?” Jack found himself backed up against the door with Elias approaching him. His hands were already grabbing at the bottom of Jack’s shirt.

“Just try it. I swear by it. It’ll work better than some chiropractor.” Elias’ smile was wide as he practically forced the shirt over the top of Jack’s head, being none too careful with his shoulder in the process. He’d even knocked his shades around and they almost fell to the floor, but Jack was quick to make sure they stayed in place.

“Ow! Jesus, Elias, fine! Just, do it.” Jack rolled his shoulder before moving over towards the bed, a frown now prominent on his face. Elias though, continued to smile like an idiot before grabbing the bottle. The German positioned himself behind Jack before letting a few droplets fall out of the bottle onto Jack’s shoulder. Jack could only describe the smell as...floral, light and the oil itself was warm.. Elias' hands went to work immediately and rubbed aggressively at the tensed muscle. Jack hissed in pain but let Elias continue his ministrations, allowing strong fingers to ease the tension. Elias didn’t dare touch the bruises, he knew all too well the pain that was lingering in Jack’s shoulder.

“You’re tense.” Elias said softly.

“I’m always tense.”

The German chuckled softly,

“Are you afraid of someone breaching through the doors and windows? Have a drink once in awhile, relax. Ease your worries.” Jack stayed silent though. He was generally tense but never noticed until the end of training days when his muscles were screaming and aching. Hot showers worked well for him, easing him and the woes of the day. But it seemed that Elias’ hard fingers were doing the trick at the moment, along with the heating aspect of the oil. Slowly but surely Jack eased up, his normally stiff back now relaxed, no longer straight as a pole but curved.

“Do you ever have fear?” Jack quirked an eyebrow though Elias could not see it. “Fear that maybe one day, perhaps someone will get lucky enough and you’ll be found bleeding out? Perhaps one day, mine or Montagne’s shield will not be there to protect you. Hopefully that day is not soon.” Jack kept quiet, let Elias rub away and soon he felt his eyes grow heavy. His head dipped and the rubbing stopped.

“Jack?” Elias pulled at Jack’s shoulders and laid Jack down on the bed.

“M’sorry, seems I’m a little sleepy.” Jack lazily murmured. They had woken up early as always, but Jack’s injury had left him feeling lazy and heavy. It didn’t help that Elias’ massage lulled him into a sleepy mess. Once strong fingers were now delicate as they slipped the shades from Jack’s head. Jack felt covers being pulled over him and warm body curl up to him. Strong arms wrapped around Jack’s smaller waist and suddenly he was back to chest with the German. Granted it was Elias’ room and Jack was invading his bed at this point, but if Elias was welcoming him with open arms, then who was Jack to refuse. As he lied there, warmth surrounding him, he heard a soft tune being hummed against his shoulder, so softly that he closed his eyes, and drifted off soundly to sleep.

 

Jack opened his eyes, the room blurry and slowly coming into focus. He lifted his head and yawned loudly before rolling over and became face to face with a sleeping Elias. Jack could tell that the man was really asleep, the way that his brow was relaxed, his mouth slack and the soft sound of snoring that was coming from him. Jack couldn’t help himself from laughing softly, the bed shaking as he tried to stifle the noise. He couldn’t stop himself though and Elias stirred. Elias blinked his eyes, deep blue eyes meeting Jack’s own bright green.

“Guten Nachmittag, Herr Estrada.” Elias quietly spoke. Jack smiled, if you could call it that, the corners of his mouth barely tugged upwards.

“Afternoon Kötz.” Both men just stared at each other, in complete comfortable silence. The bed was warm and soft, and Elias was the perfect company.

“Perhaps we should get out of bed, be productive?” Jack thought about whether or not he wanted to even get out of bed. He could see the sun poking through the blinds and thought that maybe they should do something. Catch up on paperwork, go for a jog, or something of that sort. Jack thought about Jordan, about how that Texan would be looking for him, if he wasn’t busy making lunch. Slight panic made Jack’s hearts jump and he couldn’t help but from furrowing his brow.

“Herr Estrada?” Jack looked back to Elias and shook his head before sitting up. His shoulder was no longer stiff, thanks to the German, and now he felt like he’d slept on cloud 9. He ran a hand over his face, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and waking himself up. Jack swung his feet over the bed and stood. His glasses had been placed on the bedside table and he picked them up before turning them over in his hands. This was probably the first time Elias had really seen him without glasses.  
  
“Could I get you anything Herr Estrada?” Jack turned to see Elias standing, jeans hung low on his hips and shirt somehow missing. It took him a few seconds before he realized he was staring and the smug smirk on Elias face made Jack’s lips form a thin line. He placed his glasses back on before turning and walking out the door. Elias’ smile dropped a little before just letting out a small chuckle and shrugging to himself.

 

Jack walked back to his room, hoping that he wouldn’t run into any of the others. Everyone else was occupying themselves and Jack could hear most of them talking in the rec room, the sound of a television in the background. Loud laughter which was probably caused by Jordan. He could hear James’ and Mark’s incomprehensible accents in the room as well and Jack thanked his lucky stars that he wasn’t caught as he stepped into his bedroom.

“Relax well?” Jack instinctively turned, fists already clenched. Mike was standing at the far end of the room, arms crossed over his chest with a sour look on his face. Then again, Thatch was always sour about something. Jack relaxed and let down his guard before frowning.  
“What do you want Baker?”

“Saw you walk into Kötz’s room.”

“...and?”

“I don’t think I have to remind someone of your standing that relationships are strictly against the rules ‘round here.” Jack sighed and shook his head.  
“Not in a relationship, Baker. In fact all I did was take a nap.” Mike’s eyes narrowed before he pushed off the wall he was leaning against.

“I won’t remind you again Estrada.” With that final threat, Mike left the room and shut the door behind him. Jack sat on his bed, let out a sigh a relief because finally, he was alone. He ran a hand over his head, feeling the scruff of closely cropped hair. The nap with Elias had left him more than comfortable, not only because he was in need of sleep, but because it had been Elias that was holding him, that was comforting him. Jack laid back on his own bed, stared at the ceiling and thought that maybe he could go jogging sometime, and maybe ask Elias to come with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://auburncurlsncamels.tumblr.com/


	2. Leave You Lying There on the Floor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recent Operation leaves Elias and Jack suffering the consequences. Some more than others.

“Deploying heartbeat sensor.” Three hostages on board some Senator’s expensive Yacht. White Mask terrorists had locked the whole place down and were threatening a live execution that would be broadcasted to major news networks. Team Rainbow had been called in, all dressed in general SWAT gear. No one knew about them. Even the public which they were defending couldn’t know about Rainbow, so whenever they were on operations, they had to blend in. Rainbow was never about getting praise for fixing the situation, it was about doing the right thing.

“All clear. Push forward. Hostages are in the engine room.” Jordan moved forward and Jack followed behind him. Elias moved slowly, the sound of his shield shuffling with him. Mike followed up in the back, watching their six. He moved slowly, making sure not to overlook a single corner or peek hole. Quickly enough, Jordan raised his hand, a motion for all to stop before taking a knee and pulling Jack close.  
  
“Get us a drone in there. Need to know how many, and what they’ve got.” Jack nodded before reaching into his bag and tossing the small machine forward. It zoomed down the stairs and straight into the kitchen. It was all clear on the second floor, and he pushed further, into Engine Control and that’s when he saw them. Two shields covering the side entrances, White Masks with shotguns and a bomber in between them. If Thatch could disable the bomber, then it would be an opportune moment to take the advantage. As fast as he could, he dodged the Masks and drone rolled down the stairs and into the Engine room itself. Three hostages all tied up, two White Masks that were armed and staring them down. Jack counted at least five roaming around the Engine hallways keeping their eyes open for anything in particular.

“I count, ten. MP5’s and UMP’s. One of them a bomber, got a pump action. Thatcher could disable him, Blitz can blind the three on top. Thatcher and I will dispatch quick. Thermite, you should blow the back entrance to the Engine room to distract the two on bottom. We should be able to shoot through the window and take out the two guarding the hostages. Should take us about ten seconds, tops. Everyone got it?” Jack looked around and everyone nodded.

“Thermite, head outside. Let us know when you get there.”Jack motioned for the rest to gather up and they quietly made their way downstairs and through the kitchen. The entrance to Engine Control was boarded up but all Jack needed was for Thatcher to roll his EMP grenade right on through.

“Ready for that hole?” Jordan’s voice echoed through the comms.

“Wait on my word.” Elias stood in front of the barricade, while Jack remained ready to tear the boards down. He motioned to Thatcher and held up three fingers, and slowly he counted down. On one, Thatcher twisted the top of the EMP and rolled it under. Sounds of confusion rang out and as the grenade detonated, Jack tore down the barricade. The wood fell with a spray of splinters and a crash and then Elias went to work immediately. The flash from his shield was bright and all three of the White Masks held their hands up to shield their eyes. Jack and Mike made quick work, each one falling to the ground.

“Blow it.” Jack ordered.

“Really big hole coming right up!” Jack could hear Jordan’s breaching charge go off downstairs and he and Mike rushed to the edge, training their sights on the two White Masks watching the hostages. Both ended up with bullets in their heads. Jordan and Mike quickly rushed the hostages outside while Jack and Elias faced the rest of the terrorists. The first three were mowed down quickly.

“Elias, retreat. I’m right behind you.” But even as the words came out of Jack’s mouth, his stomach knotted. There were still two left. Another White Mask popped out from the hallways and Jack shot him down quick enough, but as his eyes trained upwards, the final White Mask dropped from Engine Control and started running towards them. As he did so, he pulled a frag grenade from his belt. The pin fell away, and the handle popped off, and Jack’s heart sank into his stomach. Jack froze with fear, cold and coursing through him. Elias was quicker and took aim. A single bullet found its way between the eyes and was enough to stop their assailant.

“Jack!” His name was more of a command than anything, and it was enough to pull Jack from the ground and he immediately curled into himself, making himself small. Elias swung his shield on his back before wrapping his body around Jack. The next thing Jack knew was that his ears were ringing and he’d been put on his back. Elias laid on his side, unresponsive and unmoving. Jack struggled to even pick himself up, his ears ringing loudly enough to block out any other sound. He rolled onto his stomach, his body aching from the impact of the explosion and the force at which his body had been blown back. He reached out, crawled towards Elias, his hands gripping onto large shoulders and pulling him close. He grabbed at the giant helmet, pulled it off, revealing a handsome face beneath. One that looked a little too lifeless for Jack.

“Elias…” He said, but even he couldn’t hear his own voice.

“Elias!” He tried louder, but still, the German would not awake. Jack’s head throbbed and his vision blurred around the edges. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, not without wanting to throw up. Instead, he dug his head into Elias’ kevlar clad chest and decided that closing his eyes would be a better option for now, and sunk into complete darkness.

 

When Jack woke up it was back at Rainbow HQ. The white room was definitely an infirmary and much too bright for Jack’s current senses. Upon sitting up, he realized that his body still ached, but not as much as before. His head was still pounding, but he was sure that there would be something for that later. A nurse quickly came to his side, her British accent thick.

“Wasn’t expectin’ fer yeh to wake up so soon. Lemme take yer temperature and BP and the doctor will be in shortly.” Jack let her do as she pleased. She took small tests, measure this and that and even passing a flashlight in front of his eyes. It didn’t really help his headache either. She was about to leave the room, a folder in hand when Jack stopped her.

“Ma’am?”

“Yes sir?”

“Is my friend here? Elias Kӧtz. That’s his name.”

“The Kraut?” Jack frowned at the slang, but he nodded his head. “He’s ‘ere. Woke up a while ago. Doctor cleared him and sent him back to dorms.” With that she turned and left, leaving Jack to ponder the fact that Elias had been given a cleared record. He wondered if Elias had been left with an aching body and a ringing head. He was interrupted from thought when the doctor walked inside and smiled at him. He wasn’t hurt too bad, in fact, the doctor said that he could even leave within the hour. His body still needed rest, and he’d be prescribed some medicine for the headaches.

“You have to be careful. You knocked your head back hard, luckily you didn’t suffer much damage except for a concussion. But you appear to be fine. We can perform a scan if you like.”

“Not needed. I know how to treat it. Just like to get back to my bed is all.” And within the hour, Jack found himself on the steps of the Dormitories and back in his old clothes.

 

“Jack!” Jordan was the first up from the couch and he immediately ran towards his friends, arms wrapping tightly around Jack’s smaller frame. Jack laughed and embraced the hug.

“Shit man, I was worried as hell. You’re all fine?”

“Yup. Gave me the clean bill of health. Said I’m all good to go.” Jack stretched the truth a little. He didn’t need everyone else knowing that his head felt like it was throbbing. Miles came and patted Jack on the back, congratulating him on a successful operation. Ash even came over and gave Jack a small smile before hugging him. He reassured her before giving her a pat on the shoulder.

“Anyone seen Elias?” Jack asked and Jordan shrugged.

“Came back earlier. Went to his room I assume. I practically made out with him when I heard what he did. Saved your fucking life. Even offered the guy a drink but he passed. Said he was only doing his job. Good guy.” Jordan grabbed Jack by the shoulders before hugging him again.

“You gonna be okay Trace?” Miles commented from the couch.

“Shut it, Campbell. I just...I was worried.” Jordan looked up at Jack, his eyes showing fear and worry. But Jack was quick to resolve it.

“Don’t have anything to worry about now Jordan. I’m all in one piece.”

“Yeah, yeah...was just worried about who was gonna change my bandages is all.”

“Nice save.” Eliza teased and Jordan tossed his hat at her. Jack laughed and gave Jordan another big hug before commenting about wanting to see Elias and then lie down. Campbell said he wouldn’t have to wake up early for the next couple of days, that he needed rest and didn’t have to run the courses. The order had come directly from Six herself too. Jack nodded before trudging himself down the hall towards the rest of the rooms. Elias was at the far end of the hall and shared his room with the rest of the GSG9. As Jack approached he could hear the sound of someone retching, a dry heave, and Jack was quick to enter the room to check.

Elias had the can between his knees, himself bent over and heaving. The sounds were anything but good and Elias looked like shit. Jack came to his side, a hand resting on Elias’ shoulder in comfort. The small touch made Elias jerk and look to see who had somehow snuck in, and when he saw Jack, his face visibly relaxed. At least until he heaved again, his body tensing and his head lurched back down into the can. Jack stayed by his side for the few minutes and as Elias caught his breath and set the can down.

“ _Entschuldigen Sie bitte, dass ich Sie störe_.”

“Don’t speak a lick of German my friend.” Jack joked.

“Ah, my bad. I meant to apologize. Didn’t mean to disturb you.” Elias wiped a hand across his forehead, getting rid of the cold sweat that beaded his forehead.

“It’s not a problem. I could hear you from the hallway. You alright?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Got a little dizzy is all.” Elias smiled, but Jack could already tell that something was wrong. There was pain and exhaustion, the tight knit of eyebrows and the way Elias’ smile was nothing but tight lips.

“Elias, tell me.” Jack had never done well with words. No, he was a man of the microaggression. The way lips twinge at the corners, or when an eye twitch. The subtly of an eyebrow rising in suspicion or surprise. He was good at reading people and their faces and movements, but never good at talking to them. He could analyze about anyone in an interrogation room and come out with the truth, but when it came to actually talking to people, to ebb something out of them, he couldn’t do it.

“There’s no reason to be worried, Herr Estrada. You should get to your room and rest now.” Jack knew that he couldn’t get a response out of Elias. The German was too stoic sometimes, often to the point where the others couldn’t stand it.

“I will, I just wanted to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For saving my life Elias. I could’ve been killed if it wasn’t for you.” Elias simply shrugged, his eyes concentrated on his feet rather than the operator sitting next to him.

“I did my job. Nothing more.” Jack frowned and grabbed at Elias’ shoulder. The German looked at him then, his eyes still tired.

“Elias, I...thanks.” Jack sighed, frustrated more than anything and stood to leave. He wasn’t stopped or told to wait, instead, he walked through the door and felt a sense of defeat. He stormed off into his room and ended up slamming the door. In a fit, he threw his shades onto the nightstand and collapsed on his bed. Why couldn’t Elias just accept the gratitude? Why wouldn’t he? A dull ache throbbed in Jack’s temples and he sighed. He tossed and turned before finding a comfortable spot and shutting his eyes in defeat. He had only wanted to say thank you.

 

“You shouldn’t be smoking.” Dominic turned his head and chuckled.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed. But I’m not telling anyone.” Elias smiled, laughing only made his head hurt. The sky had darkened, the air was wet but luckily there was no humidity. Elias had felt hot, wet air during the summer and to say he didn’t like it was an understatement. This chill prickled his skin and made him go all gooseflesh and the smell of tobacco filled his nose.

“Hand me one?” Dominic quirked an eyebrow before blowing smoke right into Elias' face.

“There you go.”

“Ass.” Elias waved a hand in front of his face and dispersed the smoke. Dominic laughed before pulling a cigarette from his pocket and handing it over to Elias. Elias swiped the lighter from his friend, lit up and took a long drag. Nicotine smoke filled his lungs and relief soon followed. He thought about the recent operation, the sound of metal on the floor, the clicking of a ring hitting steel floors. A chill up his spine and dread freezing his stomach. He’d seen it before, the sight of red splattered on the floor and the metallic stench in the air. The world below him seemed to give way underneath and the sound of a metal door being opened in the distance made Elias jump, the lighter falling from his hand.

“Elias.” The sudden voice made him react, his hands gripping at the throat of a White Mask terrorist, squeezing hard, his Father language spitting words from his mouth. But the terrorist was fast, strong and sturdy. An arm broke his grip and a hard-knuckled hand that connected with his jaw broke Elias free from his delusion and knocked the cigarette from his lips. The darkened sky was now above him, little white stars dotting here and there and the cold earth reached through his clothes and wrapped itself around him. He could hear someone coughing and choking, trying to get air back in their lungs and when Elias turned to see who it was, Dominic was leaned against the outside walls, struggling for air.

“You hadn’t told me...they were back…” Dominic said in between breaths, spitting up and onto the ground.

“Started a couple days ago…” Elias spoke softly.

“And the op a few days ago?”

“It was...I got…” Dominic held up a hand. He knew what Elias was trying to say. He’d seen it multiple times. Hell, they’d all seen it.

“My bed...it’s open if you’d like.” Elias entertained the thought. Him and Dominic, it had happened many times before. They were experienced in moments like this, desperate and needing the warmth of another body. The sudden bloom of heat and passion, small gasps and deep throated moans. A sweet relief from this hyper-vigilant nightmare that was creeping back upon Elias. He could feel his jeans getting soaked through. He’d have to take them off, wash them. He supposed Dominic could help him with that.

It took seconds to pick himself up from the cold dirt and Dominic was quick to put a reassuring hand on his back. They passed the rec room, passed the others dorms where everyone else was peacefully asleep. Dominic’s hands are already underneath Elias’ shirt, cold hands feeling and squeezing at hardened muscle. They are quick to sneak behind the door of an empty dorm, where their kisses and moans with be muffled. But it didn't stop unsuspecting eyes to see what has just happened. Jack stands, halfway in and out the door to his room, his face stony. Underneath, though, he feels something crack. His jaw sets and he thinks, that maybe a run might help him clear his head. He hopes it will. It has to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://auburncurlsncamels.tumblr.com/


	3. Where Is My Mind?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious gift shows up for Team Rainbow. Pulse deals with the discovery of Blitz and Bandit's "relationship".

There’s a small scare that happens a few weeks after “the operation”. White Masks send a message to a local PD in New York. A box labeled FRAGILE with a canister inside along with a handwritten letter in cursive. Luckily the person who handled the box had immediately evacuated the building and the bomb squad had been called. The canister had been sent to Hereford for an “unknown” reason, but Jack knew better. James Porter was the resident chemist, and had been recruited “mysteriously”. He always boasted that he’d defected from the White Masks, but Porter had been caught red handed. He was SAS now, tied by camaraderie to his team and was even social with many of the other operators. Though the French upturned their noses to him and “Mute” never interacted with him, working alongside Porter was key to trust between the teams. After all, if they could trust a defector, then they could truly trust each other.

“Had time to examine the canister yet?” Jack asks, arms crossed and his shades in place. It’s interesting, seeing Porter out of his SAS gear, or not even dressed in fatigues, but rather wearing a white lab coat, gloves, and plastic protective eyewear. He wasn’t the only one in the room either. Mike, Gilles, Elias and Maxim were all waiting for information.

“Yup. Cannister ain’t got a smidge o’ gas in it. Empty.” Jack frowned. Mike spoke up.

“What’s your take on it?”

“Scare tactic most likely. Haven’t made a move in quite a while, dun want the world tah forget.”

“Could this possibly be a distraction?” Gilles asked.

“Dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. Won’t know till sumthin’ ‘appens now, won't we?” Jack watches as Elias’ lips form a thin line and his arms come up to his chest. There’s a look of annoyance there, something else too, an emotion Jack can’t quite pin down. Frustration?

“Either way, both teams ready at a moment's notice. Don’t wanna get caught with our trousers down. Dismissed.” Mike waved a hand in the air, as if they needed another sign to leave. He obviously wanted time with Porter, most likely to speak to him in private. Each leader left, all of them walking back towards the dormitories and they would have to debrief their own teams, tell them to be on standby and to wait for orders. No one liked doing that, no one liked the uneasiness of waiting, especially the Russians. Jack could tell from their faces, the way their mouths tightened, their fingers always itching for something. Their hands were always wringing themselves, and they were always hunched over, eyes focused and ready. Everyone else could wait, keep calm, and so could Estrada himself.

As they entered the dorms, many of the teams were waiting, and Jack couldn’t help but notice that Brunsmeier was first to get up, was first to go to Elias’ side, was first to ask what happened and put a hand on Elias’ arm. The touch was gentle, soft, caring and Jack hated it. He pushed past the others, some of them glaring at his back as he did so and he quickly reported to stay ready and keep their ears open. Nothing was happening anytime soon.

“Something the matter, Estrada?” Miles asked and Jack could feel that his brows had been knitted as if he was straining hard on concentrating.

“Nothing. Headache.” Jack looked to Jordan and could see immediately he didn’t believe the lie. Fuck, they would be talking later wouldn’t they? Jack dismissed the team before heading back towards the American’s dorm. He planned on going to the indoor gymnasium, finding a few of the recruits to challenge on the wrestling mat. But Jordan had already poked his head in by the time Jack had grabbed his things.

“What’s up Jack? C’mon, I saw what you did to the others, knocking ‘em over and shit.”

“There isn’t anything wrong, Jordan. I just wanna go and practice alright?” Jack slacked his shoulders, his posture giving way to a man who was obviously tired of training, but just wanting to get something done.

“Where you headed to? I’ll join.” Jordan was quick to hop into the room and grab anything that was at arm's length before Jack ran off on him. Sighing heavily, Jack rolled his eyes and turned to face Jordan.

“I’m headed to the gym. Gonna show a few of those recruits how to wrestle properly.” Jack grinned, hiding his frustration with Jordan.

“Then I’ll join you. Haven't gone a round or two with you in awhile.”

“Your funeral.” Jack murmured.

“Can’t spell funeral without ‘fun’.” Jack groaned and left the room before another one of Jordan’s jokes could inflict damage.

  
  


Jack gave a heavy grunt as his arms wrapped around Jordan’s torso and he pushed with all his strength. Sweat already coated the both of them, soaking the white tank he was wearing. The rubber soles of Jack’s shoes squeaked against the mat and he sucked in air for one finally push. If he could get Jordan out the ring, that would be it.

“I’m taking you down, Estrada.” Jordan said through clenched teeth. Jack could feel Jordan’s hands strategically shifting on his body, looking for a weak spot. Jack grunted and pushed, using his legs as much as he could and he felt Jordan’s body give. One more push, one more grunt and Jack was practically lifting Jordan off the mat and out of the ring. Jordan landed on his back with a heavy grunt and Jack landed on top of him, letting out a small ‘oof’. Both men stayed like that for a few minutes, not caring about the multiple stares from recruits. Jordan chuckled before swatting playfully at Jack’s head, making Jack roll off of him and onto his back.

“Really need to work on those emotions of yours.” Jordan said, panting in between words.

“What makes you say that?”

“C’mon, Estrada. You’ve been tense ever since you came back from that meeting. What’s got your panties in a twist?” Jack groaned before flipping over and pushing off of the ground. He didn’t really want to talk about this right now, here in the gym of all places.

“Nothing, Jordan just drop it.”

“Jeez, look at you. Your shoulders are tighter than Hereford’s regulations on alcohol.”

“Shut it, Trace.” That’s what did it. Jack hardly ever used Jordan’s last name, and the last time he did their ‘talk’ had ended with Jack breaking Jordan’s nose. Jordan was silent as he lifted himself off the mat. He muttered something about going to the showers to wash up and was quick to leave Jack to fume by himself.

He’d come here to get his mind off of things, dammit, not to be reminded of why he was upset in the first place. Jack’s eyes roamed from recruit to recruit, each one busy with their own training regimen. He wondered what they would do if they were in his place. Sighing, he left the gym, towel draped over his shoulders and with his mind still cluttered. He thought about going to the showers, but he didn’t want to face Jordan again and instead decided to busy his mind once more. Showing up to the shooting range with a little sweat was common, and most of the team did it after their daily run. He requested the usual 5.7 USG, the RCO not blinking an eye to Jack’s appearance. He set up his target, and luckily today the sun was shining bright enough to provide a little warmth. Jack assumed his stance, two hands on the pistol, his shoulders squared and his feet planted evenly beneath him.

One shot. He thinks about Elias. Two shots. Thinks about Elias taking care of him about a month ago. Three shots. Thinks about Dominic and the way he touches Elias’ arm. Each shot is fired with precision, right into the chest, but the third strays. Right through the left side, where a lung would be. It’s not what Jack is aiming for but his grip on the pistol has tightened somewhat. Deep breath, he thinks and fires off another shot. Fourth shot. Elias’ smile. Fifth shot. Elias’ laugh. Sixth shot. Dominic and his hands under Elias’ shirt. Jack bites his lower lip and forces himself to concentrate. Shot number eight comes with thoughts of Elias and Dominic tumbling in bed together and it completely misses its target. The shot is fired, inches away from the head of the target and Jack drops the gun to his side. He’s still got 12 more shots, but he can’t concentrate, not like this. Not with Elias at the forefront.

“Something the matter, Herr Estrada?” Jack turns, quicker than he wanted to and Elias is standing there, blue eyed and all innocent. Jealousy is an emotion that quickly jumps up into Jack’s throat, but he’s always practiced restraint and hopefully it pays off now.

“Seems to be the million dollar question doesn’t it?” Jack joked but Elias simply tilted his head, puzzled.

“I’m sorry?”

“Nothing.” Jack shook his head before setting the gun down onto the table.

“Having a bit of trouble are we?” Jack notices Elias’ eyes drift towards the target and he feels a slight bit of embarrassment.

“Lot on my mind lately. Been having a hard time concentrating.”

“Then we should correct that.” Elias is quick to move to his side, pick up the gun and even check to see if it’s loaded. He slides the weapon into Jack’s hand.

“What’re you doing?”

“Show me how you shoot.” He’s too close, Jack thinks.

“I know how to shoot Elias.”

“That’s not what I asked. Show me how you shoot.” Jack sighs before taking his stance and raising the gun. If Elias wanted a show then he’d give him one. Jack breathed and as he laid his finger on the trigger, a warmer body pressed against his back. Arms wrapped around and took Jack’s hands. Jack could feel his heart beat faster and his body immediately stiffened.

“Elias…”

“You’re too tense. You need to relax, breathe some more. Through your nose.” Elias’ hands tried to adjust Jack’s, his feet kicking open Jack’s stance a little more. Elias’ chest was pressed directly against Jack’s back and even though there’s a slight height difference between them, Elias somehow still manages to breathe on Jack’s neck. Elias’ finger wraps around the trigger and Jack snaps back into concentration. Both of them fire off a few shots, and each shot is considerably closer to each other. Barely an inch of difference and when Elias pulls away, Jack lets out a sigh.

“Better than before. Thanks.” Jack says before setting the pistol onto the table.

“You seem disappointed.” Maybe Jack does feel a little disappointment. The fact that he can’t get Elias out of his head, that the thought of Elias and Dominic together is tripping him up, making him miss even simple shots on targets.

“No, not disappointed. There’s just been a lot on my mind. The White Masks, this canister we just got.”

“It’s a lot, I understand. But one has to remain diligent, keep the mind sharp. If you prefer, I found a chess board in one of the rec room closets. Would you like to play?” Elias’ smile is enough to make Jack smile back, the corners of his mouth tugging slightly.

“Perhaps another day. I should shower up. Get ready for dinner.”

“True, you are quite...ripe.” Elias’ smirk catches Jack off guard because Jack could tell, it wasn’t disgust in Elias’ eyes. But with that smirk, Elias turned and left the range and Jack was left standing there, confusion and his thoughts going back and forth. This didn’t make sense to him. He didn’t understand because if Elias showed interest in him then why was he with Dominic? Why did they sneak into that room? Weren’t they boyfriends, lovers even? It didn’t fucking make sense.

  
  


The showers were practically empty, save for one person who was occupying the far corner of the room. Most of the operators and recruits took their showers right after morning PT, but the one person left occupying the room was Baker. Jack always noticed he took his showers at night, by himself. He wondered if Baker enjoyed the alone time, probably the one time he got to hear his own thoughts and didn’t have to listen to the complaining voice of Porter.

Jack was courteous enough to make a few loud sounds, announce his presence at least. He didn’t feel like talking. He stripped in the lockers before tossing sweat stained clothes into his personal locker. The towel hung low from his hips as he walked back towards the showers, bar of soap in hand. He barely caught of glimpse of Baker’s back as he walked away, still dripping wet but fully dressed. Jack didn’t know what that was about, but instead he let the towel drop from his waist and onto the floor, it wasn’t like anyone was going to be complaining about it. He started the shower, letting the cold water slowly turn warm, and he stepped underneath the spray of water, groaning at the feel of hot water soothing his sore muscles. Steam slowly rose around him, and he could feel himself breathe easier. Jack took a deep breath and let all the tension ease out of his shoulders, his spine relaxed and shoulders went lax. Tension melted from him and Jack let his thoughts slip out of his mind and stood there, warm water cascading down his body.

He couldn’t help himself from thinking about Elias, wondering how that strong and muscled physique would feel pressed against his. Jack hummed softly, his hand drifting over the flat plan of his muscled stomach. He thought about the time he and Elias had spent in bed together, sleeping under warm sheets and waking up to each other. Jack thought what would’ve happened if they had kissed. If Elias’ lips pressed against his. Jack let his hand wander further down and gasped softly when he realized how hard he was. He gripped his cock, gave a slow and soft tug, and shuddered. He placed one hand against the tiled wall of the showers and used it to balance himself. Jack continued the slow pace, wanting to drag it out as long as possible, while his mind filled up with images of Elias. He thought about the multiple times his eyes had wandered in the shower, the well-toned back, the muscle in Elias’ shoulders and how toned his legs and ass were. What would it be like, to have that body on top of him, Jack thought. To have Elias ease onto him, slowly and carefully. What would his moan sound like, and more importantly, would he look Jack in the eyes? He stroked faster, thinking about the sounds Elias would make, the muscles that would contract with every thrust and stroke. Jack moaned, the sound reverberating off the walls of the showers.

“Fuck.” He gritted out and the last thing he thought of before coming, was Elias’ bright blue eyes and the soft smile he had. He thought about the soft glow of his face and how he’d look sprawled out on a bed, ass in the air with Jack’s come dripping out of it. Tiny beads of sweat rolling down his spine and Jack reveled in bliss, his body tightening and stomach muscles flexing as he squeezed the head of his cock. The last of his come leaked out, dribbling onto the floor and with a heavy sigh, Jack leaned into the wall, his muscles relaxing once more as warm water enveloped him.

“Fuck.” He said again before gathering his bearings and standing tall. He shut the water off, but not before wiping away the evidence, and walked back towards his towel on the ground. In silence he dried himself before dressing in clean clothes and walking back out into the crisp, cool air. Jack shivered as the cold night air hit his skin and goosebumps formed on his arms. He’ll go back to his room, hopefully, won’t wake the others, and try and get himself to sleep. As Jack disappeared into the Rec room, Dominic watched from afar before lighting up a cigarette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you're confused at the beginning. I have two different Head Canons for Smoke. One being the original from the Bio within the game. The second is basically the Bio, but instead of military, Smoke was recruited into the White Masks Terrorist organization. This was a small theory that I'd seen others talk about since Smoke's gas was very similar to the WM's gas. So during my writing of this fic and how long it grows into (who knows?!), this will be set during a place of time where Smoke was indeed a WM Terrorist.
> 
> Sorry this took so long. You know...to anyone actually reading these. Critique always welcome.
> 
> http://auburncurlsncamels.tumblr.com/


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